UTVols News and Opinions

Happy Friday to everyone! Welcome to Coach Scooter’s College Football Diary Preview for this week’s games. FYI, I will be no longer making predictions since I really stink at it, plus I got all sorts of mean emails from angry Florida fans who were upset I picked the Tide. I also got an email from Mrs. Coach B, who called me Coach Corso, since she is convinced I jinxed her team by picking Alabama to win. Let’s take a look at last night’s ESPN game, as well as the big games for Saturday, October 7.

Thursday Night

Florida State 20
NC State 24

As great as the win was for NC State, the ‘Pack should have someone else do Coach Amato’s post game interviews. It hasn’t been a problem in recent years since they haven’t won many, but when they do, it’s torture to listen to him. He sounds like my Uncle Bert after a family vacation of nothing but yelling at his pain in the butt kids. Amato usually has those ridiculous sunglasses on, even during night games, so it’s no wonder they have been losing since he can’t see the field to make the right play calls. I liked the catatonic trance on his face when Dr. Jerry Punch asked him a question. After a few minutes he woke up and gave an answer that had nothing to do with the question. The best was when the Doctor asked him if the victory has silenced his critics, and after five minutes of staring at the camera, he replied, “What critics?” That has to be the smartest answer since the noble prize insight you’d get at a Hal Mumme interview.

Around the Country

Texas (4-1) vs. Oklahoma (3-1) ABC 3:30 Brad Nessler/Bob Griese/Paul Maguire

The Red River Shootout is alive and well due to the fact the Horns ended years of frustration against the Sooners in 2005. The big factors in the game should be if OU can stop the Texas offense, since they haven’t stopped anyone all year, and if Paul McGuire is going to have another stroke like last weekend in Blacksburg.

Michigan State (3-2) at Michigan (5-0) ESPN 4:30 Sean McDonough/Chris Spielman

Michigan State pulled another Sonny Liston this year. After being shocked by Notre Dame, then the phantom win by Illinois last week, expect them to stay on the canvas after a knockout punch from Michigan that should hit about the same time the teams run out of the tunnel to start the game.

Oregon (4-0) at California (4-1) ABC 8:00 Brent Musburger/Bob Davie

The loser of this one can start making plans for San Diego and the Holiday Bowl, as well as an investigation of the referee and replay officials. Everyone who plays the Brent Musburger Drinking Game is going to love this one…

Maryland (3-1) at Georgia Tech (4-1) ESPNU 3:30 Dave Armstrong/Mike Tomczak

Are the Jackets for real? They have a habit of knocking off teams like Auburn and Miami, then lay an egg when N.C. State and Wake Forest come to town. The Terps are 3-1, but have not looked good so far this season, including a 45-24 thrashing at the hands of West Virginia. The three wins came over Twinkie the Kid State, Frito Bandito Tech, the Pillsbury Doughboy College, and a pre-season scrimmage over Alamance Junior College, which is the alma mater of Annie Savoy, who teaches English 101 and Beginning Composition.

Nevada (3-2) at Hawaii (2-2) Game Plan 12:00am

I included this one since we all need a late game to turn to after the Vols and Dawgs are finished. Usually, everyone is liquored up by this time, and that will come in handy when it’s midnight, and you are sitting in front of the TV wondering why you are watching this game.

SEC Games

Arkansas (3-1) at Auburn (5-0) CBS 12:00 Craig Bolerjack/Steve Buerlein

The opener for a day of SEC television dominance begins with Arkansas traveling to Auburn for a HUGE showdown with the Tigers. The Riverboat Gambler, Tommy Tuberville, has the Tigers primed for a run at the national championship, and having a total of eight home games helps an awful lot. Wait a second, eight home games? Why doesn't Auburn play more road games? Did the Gambler lose his Riverboat in a poker game and therefore the team can't travel?

LSU (4-1) at Florida (5-0) CBS 3:30 Verne Lundquist/Gary Danielson

You know Genius Danielson spent the whole week in Gainesville, probably getting his Chris Leak jersey autographed, and taking Tim Tebow to the Dairy Queen for a Brazier Burger and a Buster Bar. The over/under on how many times Verne Lundquist is going to ask what in the world The Genius is talking about is now at 23. I am taking the over on that one. The middle game of the SEC tri-fecta is going to be brutal, both on the field and in the broadcast booth. You have been warned…

Tennessee (4-1) at Georgia (5-0) ESPN 7:45 Mike Patrick/Todd Blackledge

The finale of a huge day in the SEC concludes with Tennessee traveling to Athens to play Georgia. Questions arise on every side of Sanford Stadium. Are the Vols back from last year’s fall to Rocky Bottom? Can Georgia get production from their QB's? Which mascot will take a leak on the goal post first? If were a gambling man, and judging by the fact I ate two chili dogs from The Varsity for lunch today, I am, I would say points will be at a premium on Saturday and we are in store for an old fashioned defensive slugfest.

Weekly Observations

Tuesday’s Southern Miss/Tulsa game was entertaining, but I have to admit I felt as if I were in a time warp since it was Tuesday night, but there was college football on TV. It’s sort of like going on vacation and seeing Wheel of Fortune at 6:00, when it usually comes on at 6:30 at home. That really messed with my head.

Aunt Molly called this morning to check in. She is more nervous than an Alabama fan before a field goal. Her parents are having their 63rd wedding anniversary on Sunday, but since she will probably be hungover from the previous night, she is going over there on Saturday afternoon because she can’t deal with the parents in that condition. Another problem on the horizon is she can’t start drinking too soon before the game, since she has a bad habit of drinking too much, then passes out before the game is over. On more than one occasion, she has had to call me on Sunday morning to ask me who won. She’s not well…

I have been working with Sweetie to educate her on college football so when I take her to watch the games, or to a tailgate, she will be able to hold her own. I have got a lot of emails asking about her progress, so I thought I would give you a report. I have her watching the Thursday night games, since those are like training games for those who are learning college football. Here are a few highlights from the game last night:

1. She asked, “Who is that on the sidelines?” When I told her Dr. Jerry Punch, she replied, “What does he have a doctorate in? Being a moron?”

2. When FSU used their final timeout at the beginning of the fourth quarter, Sweetie asked, “Is that bad they don’t have any more timeouts? Won’t they need to save them for later?” A little tear rolled down my cheek since we just made a breakthrough in her college football education.

3. She has a mental block when it comes to the BCS, but I assured her we all do so it was nothing to worry about. I tried to explain how an NC State win helps Georgia Tech, since Tech plays NC State but not FSU in the regular season, but she just couldn’t understand the dynamics. After a few minutes of thinking about it, she told me, “Take out the C and that’s what this BCS sounds like to me.”

4. Before a play was over, I told her, "It looks like NC State was holding," since the referee threw the flag, which usually means holding. She was amazed. "How did you know that?" I replied that just like she knows about a sale at Nine West (Don't ask me how I know that store) before it hits the newspaper, I have the same kind of sixth sense. In reality, I know that since I have watched over 10,000 football games, and after a while, the stuff starts to sink in. How do you think I got my PHD in College Football Management, with a minor in BCS studies? Before long, I will have her knowing all the penalities, as well as the signals for them, so that is what we are working on before the midterms.

Last week's Trivia Question: Who were the head coaches for Tennessee and Georgia when they played the first game on artificial turf at Neyland Stadium on September 14, 1968?

Hey Coach,

1968 was a little before my "time" but I seem to remember Doug Dickey and Vince Dooley coaching that game. Correct or not?

GA VOL 75

Hey GA Vol, you got it right! I had a few correct responses, a few incorrect and one response from a Vol fan in Murfreesboro who answered, “General Neyland and Wally Butts.” Well, that’s pretty close, Spicoli…


Mailbag

Coach Scooter:

I was grooming my ears at the beginning of the week and was feeling pretty good about the Vols beating UGA, but now I'm feeling a bit antsy. Of course, it could be because I accidentally put a little Jack in coffee cup before heading to work this morning. It's gonna be a close game and I'm a bit worried about special teams, but I think we can pull it out. Got to have faith in the Vols.

Blue Tick Kitty

You’re right, ya have to have faith, but I don’t believe for a second about the “accident” you put in your coffee cup.


Hey Neff:

Are you going to the game Saturday or do you have to pick out a pumpkin? I'm proud that you watched the Memphis game and am about to let you back in the family. I think I'm just going to spend the rest of the week extremely close to a bottle of brown. We need to beat Georgia. Me and Klondike Earl are heading down to our favorite watering hole Saturday afternoon to get a good seat at the bar, so I will check in with you then.

Aunt Molly

Yeah, as always, you’ll check in with me on Sunday morning to find out who won. Wait a second. Get a good seat at the bar? Don't they have your seat reserved like Norm did on Cheers?

All right, Vol fans, as Blue Tick Kitty wrote, you have to keep the faith. Rub those orange and white rosaries, repeat your game maxims, and never take Coach Fulmer’s name in vain. See you on Tuesday to discuss what went on in Athens!

Send your questions and comments to: volsdiary@yahoo.com

vs.







Well, the script hasn’t changed much from the last SEC game to this one. The keys to the game are still the same:

• Control the line of scrimmage
• Establish a balanced attack
• Protect Erik Ainge
• Protect the ball
• Don’t give up the big plays

This isn’t rocket science. The coaches and players know what has to be done; now they’ve got to prove they can do it—again.

Key Matchups

Tennessee Guards vs. Georgia Defensive ends

All the talk this week on Sportscenter and other venues has been around the Georgia defense. Well, they certainly have their stars. They have a mammoth tandem of defensive ends, Quentin Moses and Charles Johnson. On most teams, they can get a pass rush without bringing up safety and sacrifice coverage. It will be critical, since they will most of the time be coming around wide, for center Josh McNeil, along with guards David Ligon (pictured left) and Anthony Parker to protect the pocket and allow Erik Ainge to step up into the pocket out of the shotgun.

Edge: Even

LaMarcus Coker vs. Georgia defense

Coker has proved that he can make the most of what’s opened for him, and it will be critical for him to prove it again this week against a defense that only gives up 5 points per contest so far this year. Coker may not have to get 100 yards on the stingy Dawgs to get balance, though. As long as Coker, Hardesty, and Foster remain a legitimate threat, the pressure will be off the passing attack and Ainge can throw his strikes to our hungry receivers.

Edge: Tennessee

Georgia offense vs. Tennessee defense

There’s too many points to consider to break it up into smaller units. Basically, Georgia has a lot of questions to answer: Can Joe Tereshinski pilot this offense to a win? Will he be ineffective after 4 weeks off, leaving Matt Stafford to have to come in and try to get into a rhythm? Can Kregg Lumpkin provide the much needed spark at running back? Can the Georgia offensive line protect anybody? Similarly, the Tennessee defense has to come up with some big plays. Linebacker Marvin Mitchell and free safety Jonathan Hefney lead the league in tackles, and needs to cause a fumble/interception or two to give Ainge a short field to work with.

Edge: Tennessee

Special teams

James Wilhoit has been stellar this season, making 14 of 17 field goals and three times from 51 yards out. Punter Britton Colquitt has also been a weapon for the Vols, pinning opponents deep and giving them little room to maneuver. The return game, however, is at a dismal 116th out of 119 Div. 1-A teams. The Vols have got to come up with an answer with their return specialists and give the offense something to work with in terms of a short field.

Edge: Even


Adding It All Up—The Prediction

I think the Bulldogs have too many questions to answer, and they won’t be able to put the pieces together fast enough this week to get a win. The Tennessee offense is clicking, and if they can avoid the big mistakes—costly fumbles, interceptions, giving up the big return for a touchdown--this team is tough enough to feed off of the electric, hostile atmosphere and come away with a victory. Smokey will be top dawg in Georgia this weekend.

Tennessee 24
Georgia 10

Welcome to Coach Scooter’s College Football Diary for Week 7! In case you were wondering, I have my $15,000 laptop handcuffed to a Tennessee State Trooper, so I don’t have to worry about my column getting stolen. With that said, let’s get to the week that was in the Big Orange Nation!

Tennessee (3-1) at Memphis (1-3) 12:00 ESPN

1st Quarter

Not bad for the Vols, although the Ainge interception that was called back could have been trouble. Coach B and I were not worried since we thought the offense was moving well, plus we were snacking on 20 wings from Hooters, so our day was looking up. It was only 3-0, but we had a feeling the Vols were going to play well. After seeing Tommy West on the sidelines, I really wanted to ask when the baby is due.

2nd Quarter

Halftime finds the Vols ahead 13-0. Our three scoring drive were from 66, 97 and 67 yards, so the offense has been able to move the ball on sustained drives, and that is encouraging. We were a little sad since Coach B and I finished the wings early in the second quarter, and now all we have left to eat are a bag of Funions and a warm six pack of Diet Slice. As we searched every cabinet in the Man Room, we agreed the Vols should take the ball inside their own 30 yard line, regardless of how they get it, so we can be assured of scoring every time.

3rd Quarter

Coach B’s wife came home and is nervous because her alma mater, Alabama, plays Florida later in the afternoon. She is upset with me because I picked her team to upset Florida in last Friday’s column, thinking I jinxed the Tide. I tried to explain a Bama victory is good for the Vols, if that is ever possible, but she is unmoved. She threatens to take away the bag of Funions, and after a heated exchange, she has to settle for calling me an idiot. Coach B smiled and says, “Don’t worry, I get that lecture all the time.” Anyway, back to the game. The Vols are looking crisp as Robert Meachem and Jason Swain, the top receiving tandem in the country, burn the Tigers for long TD grabs. Meachem’s was a thing of beauty as the DB had him pinned in, but he stiff armed him, then ran untouched in to the end zone. End of the 3rd quarter: Vols 27 – Tigers 0. Where’s my Diet Slice?

4th Quarter

The highlight of the fourth quarter, since the game was already way out of hand, was watching Coach B getting giddy at the prospect of a shutout. He kept repeating over and over, “Daddy wants a shutout.” Of course. Mrs. Coach B looked at him and said, “Mommy wants to slap Urban Meyer.” However, when Ja’Kouri Williams fumbled, and Memphis recovered, Coach B wasn’t pleased. It was inevitable as Memphis scored on the next play, which started an avalanche of furniture being broken in the Man Room. The quote of the afternoon came next. “Scoot, we’re going to Crate & Barrel as soon as this game is over.” Another memorable moment came when ESPN showed Coach Fulmer on the sideline after the fumble as he yelled, “Fudge.” Only he didn’t say fudge. I wonder if Vicki made Phil wash his mouth out with Lifebuoy when they got home? Somewhere, Ralphie from A Christmas Story had a good chuckle about that one

Final analysis

Erik Ainge continued his improved play by going 23 of 27 for 324 yards and four TD’s. LaMarcus Coker, along with James Whilhoit, was named SEC player of the week after rushing for 125 yards. The nice thing is the Vols didn’t have to use Arian Foster, which means he got another week to heal before taking on Georgia and their great defense this Saturday.

The defense flirted with holding Memphis to the lowest yards total of the Fulmer era, and probably would have gotten the record had it not been for a 4th quarter fumble deep in Vols territory. The Tigers finished with 121 yards total offense, compared to 566 by the Vols. The last shutout the Vols had was in 2003 in a 48-0 win over Vanderbilt.

Next Up For the Vols

The Vols can right the ship in the SEC by upsetting the defending SEC Champion Georgia Bulldogs in Athens. The #10 ranked Bulldogs have a tremendous defense who has given up 34 points in five games, which is just a shade under seven points a game. Colorado scored the most on the Bulldogs, which was 13 points. The Vols know they cannot afford another loss in the SEC, so this is a desperation game. This one can be seen on ESPN at 7:45.


Weekend observations

It was nice to hear, “The King,” Ron Franklin back on the air Saturday night for the Georgia-Ole Miss game. I got goose bumps when I heard, “Lumpkin has five, he’s got ten…” I also like hearing, “The line to make is the 27…” He also called it right when he talked about the refs being poor throughout the game. The worst had to be the phantom holding penalty on the Ole Miss punt block in the first quarter. The King’s partner, Ed Cunningham, agreed. “The ref has to have the guts to pick up the flag since I never saw it, or if I did, it had no bearing on the play.” The King summed it up when he said, “These officials have ruined this game.”


The mic the referee wore during the Ohio State – Iowa game made me wonder if the Big Ten called Madonna to ask if they could use some of her leftover mics from the Blonde Ambition Tour. Also, Brent Musburger called Ohio State the People’s Choice for #1. I am pretty sure I didn’t vote for them.

Did you see the Washington State uniforms on Saturday night? I think someone must have stolen the football jerseys so they had to use the WSU hockey jerseys left over from the 70’s. And you thought Oregon had ugly uniforms.



Gary Danielson Mis-Quote of the week

Genius Danielson was at it again this week. He was feeling giddy since he was at his beloved Swamp to see his heroes up close and personal. It makes me wonder if Purdue has a satalite campus in Gainesville. I was enlightened with this comment: “This is just like looking at a toolbox. Chris Leak is like the Phillips head screwdriver, Tim Tebow is just like the flat head screwdriver and Billy Latsko is like the hammer.” Then later, “Now, Billy Latsko is looking like a chisel.” Gee, Danielson, if I wanted to get a lesson on tools, I would have turned it over to PBS and watched The New Yankee Workshop with Norm Abrams, who, by the way, would be a huge improvement to the booth. However, since we are talking about tools, you are the biggest tool on TV, so at least you were in the ball park with your comments for a change.

Is anyone else as tired of hearing ABC gush over the possibility of a Michigan – Ohio State match up to see who goes to the National Championship game? Guess who will be doing the game? Guess where College GameDay will be? That is all the TV heads at ABC and ESPN have been talking about! Hey, guys, there are other teams in better conferences who have just as compelling teams and exciting games left to be played. If one team stumbles and screws up their little bundle of joy, would they have to do a College GameDay from the Illinois – Indiana game? Speaking of big games, why doesn’t ESPN talk about the two titanic struggles in the SEC this week? The ABC/ESPN bias against the SEC lives…

I liked seeing Georgia Tech get revenge on the Hokies last Saturday. I am not a Virginia Tech fan ever since the over hyped Michael Vick came out of Blacksburg, and enjoy watching them go splat. Add in the fact they have the ugliest color scheme in the world. Who picked their colors? Ronnie Milsap? Sweetie doesn’t like VT either, and calls them, “The Jokies.” The best part was the GT victory meant Sweetie was going to be happy for the rest of the weekend, and chances are, when Sweetie is happy, Coach Scooter is happy. The line of the day was when Brad Nessler and Bob Griese were talking to Paul McGuire, who was in the end zone. They told him to get out of the sun since he might have a stroke. My first thought was, “He’s been in the sun all year.”

What’s with all the talk about a player getting a high ankle sprain? It used to be, you got a sprained ankle, and that covered it. But a high ankle sprain? Is there such a thing as a low ankle sprain?

Coach Scooter was in heaven last Saturday night, and no, it wasn’t because Genius Danielson had his tongue amputated. However, that is a start. Sweetie was on the couch, “resting” (i.e., passed out) after the emotional Georgia Tech victory, so Coach Scooter got to flip around between five games all at once! That’s a new single season record in the Coach Scooter house! In the span of an hour, I saw Kansas lose in OT to Nebraska, USC’s narrow victory over Washington State, Michigan running away from Minnesota, Ohio State’s demolition over Iowa and Georgia slip past Ole Miss. Of course, I had to go see the orthopedist to treat me from a severe case of remote control thumb, but it was worth it. When Sweetie asked about my thumb, I told her I was cleaning out the lint tray on the dryer and it got caught as I slid it back into place. I don’t think she bought it…

By the way, does anyone else think the head coach at Kansas, Mark Mangino, is the long lost son of former wrestler, Haystacks Calhoun? I swear I saw Mangino in the Guinness Book of World Records. In fact, when Kansas played Toledo earlier this year, the Rockets coach, Tom Amstutz, another whopper, made dinner plans for the two coaches after the game. You know that made the managers of the Toledo area all you can eat buffets a little nervous.




Mailbag

Dear Coach:

I work the gate at UT and I missed David Yancy’s touchdown on Saturday. I just think he is the nicest person. He is like that at all times and I am glad the coaches finally let him play since he is a senior. I would just like to let him know how I feel about him but don’t know how to write him. So just tell him Granny is proud of him.

Helen Ake

Hello Granny Helen! Coach Scooter was honored you took time to write the Diary, as well as letting me know how much you like watching David Yancy play. It’s a great story when a player like Yancy can get into the end zone, and hopefully he’ll get many more opportunities. I did a little checking and if you would like to write David, just send it to:

David Yancy
c/o Tennessee Sports Information Department
P.O. Box 15016
Knoxville, Tennessee 37901

Thanks, Granny! Feel free to write anytime! Go Vols!


Coach Scooter:

One question: Virginia Tech vs. Georgia Tech. I’m pulling for the referees. Is that wrong? What games are like that for Tennessee fans?

Bulldog Bry

Dear Bulldog Bry:
No, it’s not wrong to root for the refs since I have to do it too. Who do you think I was pulling for in last week’s Bama-Florida game?

Coach Scooter:

I read your article a few weeks ago about having to go to a wedding during football season and wanted to let you know I feel your pain. As an Auburn grad, I had to go to a wedding the weekend of the Auburn/LSU game in Birmingham and was miserable. A friend told me about a website you should let your readers in on. Since we are both SEC fans, I figured you would enjoy it. Keep up the good work, Coach, and hopefully we’ll see you in the SEC Championship game!

Hugh Brewer
Huntsville, Alabama

http://fallweddingssuck.com/

Hello Hugh!

Thanks for the website information. I looked at the site and it is hilarious! If you come across any other sites like this, please send them my way!

Coach:

Good call on the Ga. Tech game. Also, regarding the FL/Bama game, it appeared that the Gators may have been trying to run up the score a bit? Maybe it was just me; however, I have pretty good darn eye sight, especially in the dark, or better yet, even sometimes when they're closed. I'm kinda worried about this Georgia game. I need some cat nip. Can't wait to see what you have in store for later in the week. Hey, if it's not too much trouble.....could you get these posted before midnight? I like to take these and read them in the litter box. Go Vols!

Blue Tick Kitty

Hello Kitty!

Yeah, I know what ya mean since I am worried about the game too. I wish we would have played UGA the last two weeks, since we know their offense wasn’t clicking. However, this week, who knows what they are going to do? Is this the game their offense finally clicks? Uncle Scooter needs to talk to Jack ‘cause now I am nervous…

Trivia Question:

Who were the head coaches for Tennessee and Georgia when they met on the first game played on artificial turf at Neyland Stadium on September 14, 1968?

Thanks again for dropping by! I will return on Friday with the weekend preview, so until then, rub those orange and white rosaries, repeat your game maxims, and never take Coach Fulmer’s name in vain!