Friday, October 06, 2006
Coach Scooter's College Football Diary Vol.8
Happy Friday to everyone! Welcome to Coach Scooter’s College Football Diary Preview for this week’s games. FYI, I will be no longer making predictions since I really stink at it, plus I got all sorts of mean emails from angry Florida fans who were upset I picked the Tide. I also got an email from Mrs. Coach B, who called me Coach Corso, since she is convinced I jinxed her team by picking Alabama to win. Let’s take a look at last night’s ESPN game, as well as the big games for Saturday, October 7.Thursday Night
Florida State 20
NC State 24
As great as the win was for NC State, the ‘Pack should have someone else do Coach Amato’s post game interviews. It hasn’t been a problem in recent years since they haven’t won man
y, but when they do, it’s torture to listen to him. He sounds like my Uncle Bert after a family vacation of nothing but yelling at his pain in the butt kids. Amato usually has those ridiculous sunglasses on, even during night games, so it’s no wonder they have been losing since he can’t see the field to make the right play calls. I liked the catatonic trance on his face when Dr. Jerry Punch asked him a question. After a few minutes he woke up and gave an answer that had nothing to do with the question. The best was when the Doctor asked him if the victory has silenced his critics, and after five minutes of staring at the camera, he replied, “What critics?” That has to be the smartest answer since the noble prize insight you’d get at a Hal Mumme interview.Around the Country
Texas (4-1) vs. Oklahoma (3-1) ABC 3:30 Brad Nessler/Bob Griese/Paul Maguire
The Red River Shootout is alive and well due to the fact the Horns ended years of frustration against the Sooners in 2005. The big factors in the game should be if OU can stop the Texas offense, since they haven’t stopped anyone all year, and if Paul McGuire is going to have another stroke like last weekend in Blacksburg.
Michigan State (3-2) at Michigan (5-0) ESPN 4:30 Sean McDonough/Chris Spielman
Michigan State pulled another Sonny Liston this year. After being shocked by Notre Dame, then the phantom win by Illinois last week, expect them to stay on the canvas after a knockout punch from Michigan that should hit about the same time the teams run out of the tunnel to start the game.
Oregon (4-0) at California (4-1) ABC 8:00 Brent Musburger/Bob Davie
The loser of this one can start making plans for San Diego and the Holiday Bowl, as well as an investigation of the referee and replay officials. Everyone who plays the Brent Musburger Drinking Game is going to love this one…
Maryland (3-1) at Georgia Tech (4-1) ESPNU 3:30 Dave Armstrong/Mike Tomczak
Are the Jackets for real? They have a habit of knocking off teams like Auburn and Miami, then lay an egg when N.C. State and Wake Forest come to to
wn. The Terps are 
3-1, but have not looked good so far this season, including a 45-24 thras
hing at the hands of West Virginia. The three wins came over Twinkie the Kid State, Frito Bandito Tech, the Pillsbury Doughboy College, and a pre-season scrimmage over Alamance Junior College, which is the alma mater of Annie Savoy, who teaches English 101 and Beginning Composition.Nevada (3-2) at Hawaii (2-2) Game Plan 12:00am
I included this one since we all need a late game to turn to after the Vols and Dawgs are finished. Usually, everyone is liquored up by this time, and that will come in handy when it’s midnight, and you are sitting in front of the TV wondering why you are watching this game.
SEC Games
Arkansas (3-1) at Auburn (5-0) CBS 12:00 Craig Bolerjack/Steve Buerlein
The opener for a day of SEC television dominance begins with Arkansas traveling to Auburn for a HUGE showdown with the Tigers. The Riverboat Gambler, Tommy Tuberville, has the Tigers primed for a run at the national championship, and having a total of eight home games helps an awful lot. Wait a second, eight home games? Why doesn't Auburn play more road games? Did the Gambler lose his Riverboat in a poker game and therefore the team can't travel?
LSU (4-1) at Florida (5-0) CBS 3:30 Verne Lundquist/Gary Danielson
You know Genius Danielson spent the whole week in Gainesville, probably getting his Chris Leak jersey autographed, and taking Tim Tebow to the Dairy Queen for a Brazier Burger and a Buster Bar. The over/under on how many times Verne Lundquist is going to ask what in the world The Genius is talking about is now at 23. I am taking the over on that one. The middle game of the SEC tri-fecta is going to be brutal, both on the field and in the broadcast booth. You have been warned…
Tennessee (4-1) at Georgia (5-0) ESPN 7:45 Mike Patrick/Todd Blackledge
The finale of a huge day in the SEC concludes with Tennessee traveling to Athens to play Georgia. Questions arise on every side of Sanford Stadium. Are the Vols back from last year’s fall to Rocky Bottom? Can Georgia get production from their QB's? Which mascot will take a leak on the goal post first? If were a gambling man, and judging by the fact I ate two chili dogs from The Varsity for lunch today, I am, I would say points will be at a premium on Saturday and we are in store for an old fashioned defensive slugfest.
Weekly Observations
Tuesday’s Southern Miss/Tulsa game was entertaining, but I have to admit I felt as if I were in a time warp since it was Tuesday night, but there was college football on TV. It’s sort of like going on vacation and seeing Wheel of Fortune at 6:00, when it usually comes on at 6:30 at home. That really messed with my head.
Aunt Molly called this morning to check in. She is more nervous than an Alabama fan before a field goal. Her parents are having their 63rd wedding anniversary on Sunday, but since she will probably be hungover from the previous night, she is going over there on Saturday afternoon because she can’t deal with the parents in that condition. Another problem on the horizon is she can’t start drinking too soon before the game, since she has a bad habit of drinking too much, then passes out before the game is over. On more than one occasion, she has had to call me on Sunday morning to ask me who won. She’s not well…
I have been working with Sweetie to educate her on college football so when I take her to watch the games, or to a tailgate, she will be able to hold her own. I have got a lot of emails asking about her progress, so I thought I would give you a report. I have her watching the Thursday night games, since those are like training games for those who are learning college football. Here are a few highlights from the game last night:
1. She asked, “Who is that on the sidelines?” When I told her Dr. Jerry Punch, she replied, “What does he have a doctorate in? Being a moron?”
2. When FSU used their final timeout at the beginning of the fourth quarter, Sweetie asked, “Is that bad they don’t have any more timeouts? Won’t they need to save them for later?” A little tear rolled down my cheek since we just made a breakthrough in her college football education.
3. She has a mental block when it comes to the BCS, but I assured her we all do so it was nothing to worry about. I tried to explain how an NC State win helps Georgia Tech, since Tech plays NC State but not FSU in the regular season, but she just couldn’t understand the dynamics. After a few minutes of thinking about it, she told me, “Take out the C and that’s what this BCS sounds like to me.”
4. Before a play was over, I told her, "It looks like NC State was holding," since the referee threw the flag, which usually means holding. She was amazed. "How did you know that?" I replied that just like she knows about a sale at Nine West (Don't ask me how I know that store) before it hits the newspaper, I have the same kind of sixth sense. In reality, I know that since I have watched over 10,000 football games, and after a while, the stuff starts to sink in. How do you think I got my PHD in College Football Management, with a minor in BCS studies? Before long, I will have her knowing all the penalities, as well as the signals for them, so that is what we are working on before the midterms.
Last week's Trivia Question: Who were the head coaches for Tennessee and Georgia when they played the first game on artificial turf at Neyland Stadium on September 14, 1968?
Hey Coach,
1968 was a little before my "time" but I seem to remember Doug Dickey and Vince Dooley coaching that game. Correct or not?
GA VOL 75
Hey GA Vol, you got it right! I had a few correct responses, a few incorrect and one response from a Vol fan in Murfreesboro who answered, “General Neyland and Wally Butts.” Well, that’s pretty close, Spicoli…
Mailbag
Coach Scooter:
I was grooming my ears at the beginning of the week and was feeling pre
tty good about the Vols beating UGA, but now I'm feeling a bit antsy. Of course, it could be because I accidentally put a little Jack in coffee cup before heading to work this morning. It's gonna be a close game and I'm a bit worried about special teams, but I think we can pull it out. Got to have faith in the Vols.Blue Tick Kitty
You’re right, ya have to have faith, but I don’t believe for a second about the “accident” you put in your coffee cup.
Hey Neff:
Are you going to the game Saturday or do you have to pick out a pumpkin? I'm proud that you watched the Memphis game and am about to let you back in the family. I think I'm just going to spend the rest of the week extremely close to a bottle of brown. We need to beat Georgia. Me and Klondike Earl are heading down to our favorite watering hole Saturday afternoon to get a good seat at the bar, so I will check in with you then.
Aunt Molly
Yeah, as always, you’ll check in with me on Sunday morning to find out who won. Wait a second. Get a good seat at the bar? Don't they have your seat reserved like Norm did on Cheers?
All right, Vol fans, as Blue Tick Kitty wrote, you have to keep the faith. Rub those orange and white rosaries, repeat your game maxims, and never take Coach Fulmer’s name in vain. See you on Tuesday to discuss what went on in Athens!
Send your questions and comments to: volsdiary@yahoo.com
